Hallie Cantor @halliecantor

tv writer with dog halliecantor.com Joined April 2011

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Hallie Cantor @halliecantor

a year ago

hi i wrote a book! ok love you bye

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I watched an episode of selling the oc and now for the rest of my life every time i enter a room i have to shout “okay, THIS is what’s gonna sell this house” then break into manic trills of laughter as my gleaming claws scrabble to adjust my Sex Blazer :/

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Hallie Cantor @halliecantor

3 years ago

I only come across as boring at parties because “what have you been up to” is the magic incantation that wipes my brain clean of all knowledge of my past present and future activities

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The New Yorker Humor @newyorkerhumor

3 years ago

“Just because we’re currently standing in the shadow of an enormous tsunami still gathering momentum is no reason not to give us a grandchild.” A message from your mother, by the humor writer @halliecantor. nyer.cm/IZIkUhm

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Hallie Cantor @halliecantor

3 years ago

relatives everywhere are praising* my new humor piece! newyorker.com/magazine/2022/… *asking if it means i'm thinking of having a baby soon

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Hallie Cantor @halliecantor

4 years ago

Is there a condition in the DSM where a person can be mostly extremely mentally heathy but if a man with a tiny braided mullet honks at u for backing out too quick in the whole foods parking lot you have an overwhelming urge to kill yourself for 2-4 min

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lina misitzis @lmisitzis

4 years ago

I produced this week’s show which meant tricking @halliecantor and Hannah Einbeinder into executing this. I love it so much.

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Hallie Cantor @halliecantor

4 years ago

my 30s are all about seamlessly transferring anxiety about my friends thinking im cool into anxiety about my friends' toddlers thinking im cool

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Hallie Cantor @halliecantor

4 years ago

So sad for ppl experiencing social anxiety after covid! I personally have never felt closer to my own best friends, podcast hosts who dont know me and whose joyful camaraderie is the only hint of life that penetrates the glass walls of my mind prison

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Hallie Cantor @halliecantor

4 years ago

Some (me) may say the nanny is frasier for girls but I (me ten minutes later) say frasier is the nanny for goys

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Hallie Cantor @halliecantor

5 years ago

Please revel in this meeting of the minds betwixt myself and brilliant feminist icon @NotThatReba #FreeBritney!!!

The New Yorker Humor @newyorkerhumor

5 years ago

Please revel in this meeting of the minds betwixt myself and brilliant feminist icon @NotThatReba #FreeBritney!!!

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Hallie Cantor @halliecantor

5 years ago

i have come up with a practical and useful rhyme for figuring out which movie characters will turn out to be villains. who's Bad in this film? / oh u silly goose / all bald men are Bad / unless they are bruce [willis]