Matt Hinkamp @matthinkamp

Servant to my Lord Jesus Christ. Avid fan of my New Orleans Pelicans Joined May 2009

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Matt Hinkamp @matthinkamp

4 weeks ago

Definitely never tweeting a joke like this again. Rip

Matt Hinkamp @matthinkamp

3 months ago

Definitely never tweeting a joke like this again. Rip

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I’ve been very careful to keep this streak over the course of my life, having all of my surgeries in neat 5-year intervals…however that streak finally breaks in 2025,, 2008: Broken arm 2013: Broken arm 2.0 2018: Wisdom teeth 2023: Hernia *2025*: LASIK

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Matt Hinkamp @matthinkamp

3 months ago

I’m the type of guy to have his wallet robbed off of him, and then drive to the police station and the first thing I do is confess that I’ve just illegally driven without a license

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Matt Hinkamp @matthinkamp

4 months ago

I am one of the most interruptable people on the planet

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Matt Hinkamp @matthinkamp

4 months ago

Easily one of my dumbest unironic tweets. Possibly #1

Matt Hinkamp @matthinkamp

11 years ago

Easily one of my dumbest unironic tweets. Possibly #1

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Matt Hinkamp @matthinkamp

5 months ago

Said arigatou gozaimasu to the flight attendant and now she thinks I speak Japanese and is exclusively speaking Japanese to me for the rest of the flight

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Matt Hinkamp @matthinkamp

7 months ago

Just hastily realized the most likely moment that I tore my meniscus was in Ms. McCampbell’s bowling class in 2006 when someone hammed one of those wooden balls right at it