I Have Bad Roommates @roommates_i
Dad always said “don’t be the stinky kid” Hell Joined January 2021-
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How are you mad at me because I was sad your cat broke my shit (again)
There’s a reason the cat doesn’t like you, Karla
If roommate no want me be mean, why be dumb fucking bitch?? Hmm???
I can’t believe I have to tell you that slamming cupboards while your roommate is sleeping is rude
It’s only Wednesday and Karla has already showered twice 🥲 #progress
1:00am is not an appropriate time to bang shit around in the kitchen when your roommate has to wake up at 6:00am
Sandy does not have covid. Which is good because Sandy did not act like she was exposed to covid.
Maybe if you feel the need to keep coming into the kitchen while I’m there because you’re just “so hungry” you should keep a snack in your room covid-Sandy
Is it pretentious that I want you to stop eating the food you seem to like because the smell your microwaveable heap of nothing has seeped into my bedroom and it’s repulsive??
Oh my god Sandy you were directly exposed to covid stop trying to kill me with your stupidity
Be self aware. Your roommates notice that you only shower 1-2x a week. Or at least the one you share a bathroom with does. Also, pick up your hair.
TheCrackHen @TheCrackHen
38 Followers 173 Following
D.A.R.E Program @DARE_Program
44 Followers 23 Following D.A.R.E to resist drugs and violence... says the coolest kid in the room.
D.A.R.E Program @DARE_Program
44 Followers 23 Following D.A.R.E to resist drugs and violence... says the coolest kid in the room.
I want to be a role model for transgender youth by telling them there’s no place for them in sports
Caitlyn Jenner explains that she's opposed to transgender girls playing sports against other girls. But then in the next breath she says she wants to be a role model for transgender girls.
For the record, I only left the IHOP because the nice woman told me the all-you-can-eat deal didn’t apply to the milkshakes.
Today we celebrate the most powerful drug of all. Nothing feels better. P.S: To be clear, we mean love. Not cocaine.
True or False: going to alcohol parties makes you cool.
I’m starting to think that things weren’t shitty just because it was 2020.
So Trump has access to the nuclear codes but he can't Tweet or post to Facebook.
Fox News is blaming the capital police. incredible. Just incredible.
I got my second dose of the #COVID19 vaccine today and now I’m feeling some arm soreness and a massive disgust of seditious elected officials.
Here’s what people aren’t grasping about yesterday. People with guns stormed our Capitol building where our entire congress was gathered. Those people with guns could have potentially wiped out all of our elected officials. Hardly anyone tried to stop them. That’s a big deal.
Today was in an historic day. Donald Trump finally proved there was voter fraud. By him.
Now Trump is asking Georgia to find a 7th season of Schitt's Creek.
Household question: what's the best way to get a stain off a country?
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