Sara Land (Uzer) @sara_uzer
Writer & editor. Mostly relatable rants. instagram.com/sarauzer/ Joined February 2011-
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Sara Land (Uzer) retweeted
Y'all be perfectly functioning, healthy adults that got every vaccine growing up; see 2 YouTube videos & a tik tok, then come to this conclusion.
Y'all be perfectly functioning, healthy adults that got every vaccine growing up; see 2 YouTube videos & a tik tok, then come to this conclusion.
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Me: “I’m just going to put you down for a few minutes so I can make lunch.” My baby:
Everyone talks about the “newborn trenches,” but not enough people talk about the sleep regression that conveniently occurs right when you go back to work. 😭
Me before baby: “I’m such a minimalist.🤪” Me after baby: *trips over all the baby contraptions in the living room and proceeds to buy one more*
“Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Thanks, but I’d rather doom scroll.
Transcribing interviews is always a great reminder that no matter how professional I try to be, I will always sound like Kristin Cavallari.
Me: “Why are all men obsessed with YouTube? I just don’t get it.” Also me: *Watches TikToks for 6 hours straight*
“Stop shrinking to fit places you’ve outgrown.✨” - Me to myself when I try to wear my pre-pregnancy clothes.
“If I’m too much, then go find less.” - the worst person you’ve ever met
I love how “Cool” by Gwen Stefani is always playing in the store when I’m actually fighting for my life.
I like Sabrina Carpenter because she’s giving the 4’11 community the representation it deserves.
Sara Land (Uzer) retweeted
That season of house of the dragon could’ve been an email
“Biden definitely didn’t write that letter!” I’m begging you all to realize that public figures quite literally NEVER write their own statements lol.
The lowest rate you could possibly imagine
The lowest rate you could possibly imagine
Sara Land (Uzer) retweeted
Freelancing is fun until you’re waiting on $2500 worth of payments
I just re-watched the Degrassi episode where Jimmy gets shot and that show had no business being so intense. Why am I crying over Drake right now??
Sara Land (Uzer) retweeted
Girl math is just making more money instead of cutting back on expenses.
Someone on TikTok said that Harry Styles looks too much like Theon Greyjoy from Game of Thrones. Why is that low-key accurate? 💀
“Just call the member service number on the back of your health insurance card. They’re here to help!” Member service:
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