Tom's stupid @tommphilip
sorry, I don't really want to talk right now. 📝 ClickHole, GQ, AV Club, NY Times, New Yorker, CollegeHumor etc. Rly good @ tweets + expressing myself succinctl tomphilip.info/writing brooklyn Joined February 2009-
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NEW MITCHELL AND WEBB SKETCH SERIES!! NOT A DRILL!! NEW MITCHELL AND WEBB SKETCH SERIES youtube.com/watch?v=soO9ba…
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something's wrong. Noah Hawley has made two good seasons of tv in a row...
Genuinely one of the best performances I've seen in damn years
Genuinely one of the best performances I've seen in damn years
Tom's stupid retweeted
Super Hans: Nice packet of Crunchy Nut you've got here. Pretty expensive, as I recall. [pours cereal onto floor]
cursed photo. Absolutely rock-bottom vibes
cursed photo. Absolutely rock-bottom vibes
Living with a cat update: I’ve started calling out “if you’re in here I surrender” every time I enter a room
[breaking up with someone] It would be wrong of me to not at least offer you a discount on a betterhelp subscription with ads
Just opened my laptop for the first time today and the last thing i was looking at before I fell asleep last night was the wikipedia page for cheese
Tom's stupid retweeted
Mark: (She's buying it! God, it's so easy being a freak, no wonder they're ten a penny. I should get extra marks for not feeling a fucking thing.)
To whichever pure soul is bootlegging Love Island UK and uploading it with the old-school UK teletext captioning: Thank you for your national service. We will sing of you in time.
“my culture is not your costume” - me hearing americans say “mugged off” on love island
one of my fav things about growing up in the UK is explaining to people that this is our Buster Keaton
Tom's stupid retweeted
One of my favorite Simpsons scenes from my favorite Simpsons episode could only work so well because of Alf Clausen's amazing compositions for the series. Rest in peace 🫡
One of my favorite Simpsons scenes from my favorite Simpsons episode could only work so well because of Alf Clausen's amazing compositions for the series. Rest in peace 🫡 https://t.co/xgjTnVbTMM
Tom's stupid retweeted
Please also cast the composer from White Lotus. Thank you.
Please also cast the composer from White Lotus. Thank you.
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