Jessica Fox @HelloJessicaFox
Joined June 2015-
Tweets9K
-
Followers4K
-
Following565
-
Likes38K
I bought a new book and started a bubble bath and was so excited, and 5 pages in, I shut the book and went, “Ah, well, never mind.”
47
13
355
40K
24
Download Image
British people make snacks sound so delicious. Do I want a packet of crisps? A PACKET of CRISPS? Incredible. Mouth-watering. Yes, please, a packet of crisps sounds life-changing. Oh, it’s just a bag of chips.
The phrase, “That’s a common misconception” is supposed to make you feel better but what I hear is, “Not only are you wrong but you are wrong in the most plebeian and unpoetic way possible. You are, to me, confirmation of materialism and the lack of a human soul.”
Jessica Fox retweeted
My favorite ancient artifact is 2000 year old graffiti from Roman tourists complaining that Egyptian tombs are boring and they should have vacationed somewhere else
Jessica Fox retweeted
no one: dads in restaurants on holiday:
I’m not sure I get the appeal of being rich. You have a special, special purse? Your house has a lot of area? I just don’t get it.
I have been teaching myself to juggle in the evenings the past few days and I spend the whole time thinking about how hectic my life is right now so why am I *juggling*… and just now, 3 balls in the air, I went, “OHMYGOD I’M DOING A BAD VISUAL METAPHOR” — who is writing this?
When you make me wake up at 8am (the devil’s hour) and I show up with a big round bruise in the center of my forehead because yesterday I stuck a suction cup on it to be funny and I didn’t know it would make a big bruise on my forehead, that says more about you than about me
glad we finally have tech that can mimic the experience of being inside a buffalo wild wings
Jessica Fox retweeted
Watching this video with sound off is kind of beautiful… when the flailing hands reach toward the burger it becomes something profound
Watching this video with sound off is kind of beautiful… when the flailing hands reach toward the burger it becomes something profound
I don’t believe in paranormal stuff but I think it’s funny to be judgmental about people who do considering our origin story is that a little math exploded & made an infinite universe & then some oceanic jacuzzi water mixed with acids & turned into a cell that began feeling stuff
tricking myself into giving up on my math homework by convincing myself that I’m a “vanilla sky situation” and all the math is “fake”
Ahhhh!! Ahhhhh!! Sean Carroll has a new book out and it’s about fields! Everybody get it and we can talk about it! In a field!
Ahhhh!! Ahhhhh!! Sean Carroll has a new book out and it’s about fields! Everybody get it and we can talk about it! In a field!
I saw a bumper sticker that said, “Not all who wander are lost” next to a photograph of a moose. As if a shining example of this idea is a large antlered man who has been trampling through the woods for twenty years and can’t read a map
mostly I am not interested in the Barbie movie because I won’t get any of the jokes since my beloved childhood toys were a pair of nunchucks and a Chuck Norris instructional nunchuck vhs tape
Wow what a beautiful song I think I’ll just read the YouTube commen— oh god oh no oh god
jo @whatsJo
44K Followers 907 Following b-side. I eat popsicles for breakfast. Trial ft error. 🤖rights. crusha bit, lil bit✨
♥mark magark♥ @markedly
24K Followers 327 Following See the world through the eyes of an idiot. | he/him
Adrenalin @adrenalindenver
23K Followers 756 Following Denver pop punk. DM for booking info! Guitar/vocals: Woody B Bass: Dave Cactus Drums: Ripcord Lead Guitar: Duncan
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
42K Followers 9K Following Independently owned and operated A+ Rating fron the BBB Chicago Area I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is
Caitlin @caithuls
15K Followers 2K Following Art, code, comedy. I live in South Carolina and in my head
KattsDogma @KattsDogma
9K Followers 711 Following avi by Picasso. header by Benjamin Moore. https://t.co/E819hK5ngm OR ➡️ https://t.co/0eeKwH89F4
Audrey Porne 🍒 @AudreyPorne
25K Followers 1K Following Your goth cousin's friend. Standup comedian in nz. I've been on TV once. ngāi tahu.
Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau
81K Followers 1K Following Comedian, Writer, Founder of Persona Essential Social Media Management, writer of @GrimAndGraham
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
13K Followers 1K Following The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, Harper's, Rolling Stone. I've read some of these magazines.
Mowgli @Holy_Mowgli
9K Followers 1K Following header courtesy of @dave_cactus my top tweets: https://t.co/2L1ckFsMM1
donni saphire @donni
56K Followers 1K Following Not here anymore. Come find me on Bluesky or Mastodon. Still do The Love Below at Beermiscuous in Lincoln Park every 3rd Thursday. It’s a comedy show
karyn ann pokletar @KarynATetrault
119 Followers 474 Following
CineMATic🇬🇧🏴... @CineMATic84GB
8 Followers 56 Following At the end of the world where are they going to put the gift shop? 🇬🇧🏴
Ramen @KyuT90889665
931 Followers 3K Following "We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!" ~ Spike Milligan
👑 Kang Syf, DTJD|A... @pollotylerjones
107 Followers 3K Following KITTRIDGE. gilgatai the impaler. conandao. trickster. transcendant, intense lowlife. dionysian. nietzschean absurdist. gamble adventure. do what u wilt. semi-OC
Roberto Mendoza @RobertoMen63323
2 Followers 106 Following
KS @eveningstar7
60 Followers 410 Following
Michael J Weirsky @JWeirsky7137
120 Followers 7K Following Mega millions jackpot winner, Michael J, Weirsky ,jackpot winner of $273,000,000 giving away $50,000 to my first 2k followers..be a winner today 💰💰💰
step to the left, ple... @HappyMussel
215 Followers 1K Following
philosopher Bofadese @mindkontrolultr
1K Followers 5K Following He/Him. Hoser. Union Electrician Black lives Matter. Free Palestine Dad Rap + Dad Metal. Jiu-Jitsu, Finance and Solidarity.
Trippy Rick @cosmic_ether
44 Followers 859 Following
T.witter Reader @ThirdHouseplant
14 Followers 588 Following
JamieScripps @RzO8v0SIb1Hqs
72 Followers 7K Following
Ville @I3rawler
179 Followers 1K Following
@smcer7 @smcer7
7 Followers 1K Following
Ambar Nag @ambar_nag
0 Followers 2 Following
catdad @bethelash
47 Followers 440 Following Network infrastructure nerd/cat person/working on my deadlift
Che Cosgrave @CheCosgrave
237 Followers 702 Following Whispering into the void… Working on a novel, with occasional consistency.
Will Golihew @WGolihew
68 Followers 640 Following Podcasts? Love 'em. People? For 'em. Pancakes? Flip 'em.
blurgh @e_motiondesign
140 Followers 797 Following
SoggyBottomBoy @DapperDanFeller
267 Followers 331 Following Love the Steelers and also dislike right wing politics. Fuck MAGA.
Kaysha @serindipitie
1K Followers 3K Following If you had the chance to do good, wouldn’t you?. 📖 https://t.co/6LnMgjHOFX
Paula @PaulaZT
409 Followers 1K Following
Face Hugger @TheFaceHugger
52 Followers 1K Following
Amy Malkoff @amalkoff
4K Followers 4K Following Pithy takes on: music • me • politics • comedy • pop culture • science. My anonymous handle just happens to also be my real name. https://t.co/C9MCEx4wqS
Anxious Moms @anxiousmoms
2K Followers 408 Following Seasoned overthinker. Working mom of 3. Married. Writer. Designer. Just remembered Twitter was a platform. https://t.co/HajoNGNobr
Don Wells Nichols @WellsDon12123
9 Followers 233 Following
Believe in Yourself& ... @ShaneAnffyddiwr
4K Followers 5K Following disclaimer: here just to laugh at myself, no one should follow me for any reason ever.
Archie, Ralphie, Fido... @OldDogHotel
2K Followers 4K Following Old dogs are best. "A man will walk into Hell with both eyes open, but even the Devil can't fool a dog." ~ The Hunt. "From the river to the sea"
Scott Adams 🚴 🦬 @ScottAdams65
1K Followers 2K Following Biker, hiker, X-country skier, Eagle scout, hockey fan, Clarkson U Golden Knights, Syracuse U Orange, #BillsMafia, history/geneology/nature buff
Dateliez @dateliez23171
122 Followers 3K Following
Rae of Sunshine @CurvyRaeofSun
4K Followers 547 Following 18+ only. She/her. Curvy af. Tattooed. ENM. Not straight. CashApp/Venmo: $raepillow
i hug bugs @piscespotatoes
304 Followers 2K Following a passion for potatoes. an enthusiasm for eggs. hugs for bugs (but never for spiders). sporadic posting of unhinged content in a chaotic world!
Angry Fans @AngryNHLFansPgh
264 Followers 203 Following
Frank Fusselman 🇺�... @frankfusselman
32 Followers 510 Following Proud Catholic and Theology Grad Student (Thomistic Realist) Circa '94 TAMU '15 👍 -- Former Social Specialist for @EAHelp -- Thoughts and opinions are my own.
FuzzyNabal @FNabal82330
0 Followers 10 Following
Nobody @8NoBodysBiz
277 Followers 1K Following I'm nobody! Who are you? Are you nobody, too? Then there's a pair of us - don't tell. They'd banish us, you know.
jo @whatsJo
44K Followers 907 Following b-side. I eat popsicles for breakfast. Trial ft error. 🤖rights. crusha bit, lil bit✨
♥mark magark♥ @markedly
24K Followers 327 Following See the world through the eyes of an idiot. | he/him
Adrenalin @adrenalindenver
23K Followers 756 Following Denver pop punk. DM for booking info! Guitar/vocals: Woody B Bass: Dave Cactus Drums: Ripcord Lead Guitar: Duncan
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
42K Followers 9K Following Independently owned and operated A+ Rating fron the BBB Chicago Area I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is
Caitlin @caithuls
15K Followers 2K Following Art, code, comedy. I live in South Carolina and in my head
KattsDogma @KattsDogma
9K Followers 711 Following avi by Picasso. header by Benjamin Moore. https://t.co/E819hK5ngm OR ➡️ https://t.co/0eeKwH89F4
Audrey Porne 🍒 @AudreyPorne
25K Followers 1K Following Your goth cousin's friend. Standup comedian in nz. I've been on TV once. ngāi tahu.
Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau
81K Followers 1K Following Comedian, Writer, Founder of Persona Essential Social Media Management, writer of @GrimAndGraham
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
13K Followers 1K Following The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, Harper's, Rolling Stone. I've read some of these magazines.
Mowgli @Holy_Mowgli
9K Followers 1K Following header courtesy of @dave_cactus my top tweets: https://t.co/2L1ckFsMM1
donni saphire @donni
56K Followers 1K Following Not here anymore. Come find me on Bluesky or Mastodon. Still do The Love Below at Beermiscuous in Lincoln Park every 3rd Thursday. It’s a comedy show
U-M Physics @UmichPhysics
1K Followers 246 Following The University of Michigan Physics Department, part of the College of LSA, has a proud history of world-leading physics education and research.
Evan @beingandslime
4K Followers 305 Following No accomplishments as yet. At any rate, I am not yet an object of envy.
Rory Blank @BoneJail
19K Followers 990 Following https://t.co/oNZpy1xF5p shirts/stickers/zines: https://t.co/BAIAxkGmup https://t.co/TmTCNr5nxr
Jay Hulme @JayHulmePoet
52K Followers 1K Following Poet. General Nuisance. Lots of tweets about churches. Occasionally queer theology. Unapologetically trans (he/him). Mostly on bluesky now.
Adam D. Jameson @adjameson
1K Followers 2K Following PhD, author: STAR WARS & THE TRIUMPH OF GEEK CULTURE (@fsgbooks) + CINEMAPS w/ @drewpatroopa17 (@quirkbooks) | now writing a book about good bad movies | he/him
Mike Townsend @townsendyesmate
10K Followers 1K Following Head of UK Operations, ADA UK @WarnerMusic (He/Him) / views my own / 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸
Mark Watson, still he... @watsoncomedian
242K Followers 4K Following Personal messages: https://t.co/hSRSodQopa YouTube channel: https://t.co/tbY6JTHWAF Also available as a human.
Richard Burgauer @richburgauer
15K Followers 2K Following the funniest person you’ve never met (because I suck at social interaction) contributor @humordarling, @251tweets, earth, etc.
Elrond Hubbard @DrewBJameson
500 Followers 705 Following Twitter is dead; find me on Bluesky. @elrondhubbard.bsky.social
Victor Kumar @victorckumar
4K Followers 793 Following Associate professor of philosophy at Boston University | A BETTER APE (OUP) | Writes about morality, progress, evolution, culture | He/him
Andrew D. Huberman, P... @hubermanlab
1.6M Followers 2K Following Professor of Neurobiology and Ophthalmology at Stanford Medicine • Host of Huberman Lab • Focused on science and health research and public education
Chrisyppus @GotYourNoose
146 Followers 700 Following Surgeon and scientist. Eclectic. Disillusioned liberal...evolving libertarian? Not actually a statue nor a member of “statue twitter” — “lol give him some wine”
Randy Siitam @RandurSiitam
236 Followers 251 Following Former Republican and upcoming forced Democrat. Living the life of the songs I write. Singer/Songwriter/Musician. Follow me and I will follow back, No wackjobs
Axel @axelmakes
166K Followers 139 Following
Joseph Fasano @Joseph_Fasano_
92K Followers 9K Following Writer, Teacher | helping people write & be heard | books @penguinrandom, @BOAEditions | Founder, Fasano Academy, educating the whole human | rep: @darakaye
TierMaker @TierMaker
638K Followers 37 Following Tier Lists for everything. 4 million+ TierMaker templates or create a new tier list for anything in seconds. Just upload images & add a title. 🆕 @TriviaCreator
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (... @FScottFitzJesse
8K Followers 6K Following I'm just here to make fun of myself.
Elliott Kember @elliottkember
5K Followers 394 Following staff software engineer • will pay for food
Seasonal Clickfarm Wo... @ClickingSeason
27K Followers 1K Following tradeoffs rule everything around me
Marx Rey @marxreywrites
222 Followers 781 Following Dad to 2 incredible humans. Blue Texan. Aspirational wordsmith. Belief in one hand, doubt in the other. My veins carry the blood of servants and kings.
BracketFights @BracketFights
39K Followers 20 Following Make an interactive tournament bracket for anything. Just upload images (or import images from a @TierMaker template), add a title & share your #BracketFight.
RICHARD AYOADE @RichardAyoade
754K Followers 234 Following The Unfinished Harauld Hughes https://t.co/Rte9Cb1MuL
Brian Cox @ProfBrianCox
2.9M Followers 1K Following Professor of Particle Physics at The University of Manchester
Charlie Pickering @charliepick
283K Followers 3K Following Comedian. Host of @theweeklytv on ABC and TGIF on ABC Radio
Omaeja Ja @OmaejaJa
922 Followers 2K Following I *try* to look at all ideas on their merits. biz school faculty. world-class procrastinator. easily distra-
Misha @drethelin
5K Followers 382 Following If, after reading my tweets, just one human is inspired to say something weird to a friend, or perhaps lick a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.
James Fell @BodyForWife
33K Followers 1K Following Nope. Fuck Nazis. Fuck Anal Musk. And fuck this place. Haven't posted in months and never will again. Not deleting to protect my handle from imposters. Byeeee!!
Monkee Toupee 👾 @MonkeeToupee
56 Followers 222 Following I was born, lots of other boring stuff happened, Minnie Driver liked one of my tweets once, it’s all been downhill from there.
Sam Saulsbury @SamuelSaulsbury
6K Followers 639 Following I am the boss / / Comedy: @ClickHole @TheOnion, @tnyshouts
Ryan North 🦖 🪄 ... @ryanqnorth
74K Followers 1K Following No longer here, find me at https://t.co/WcAmxEjXbK 🔗 https://t.co/xVeSnwOxau
Sean Carroll @seanmcarroll
334K Followers 428 Following Physics, philosophy, complexity. @JohnsHopkins & @SFIscience. Host, #MindscapePodcast. Married to @JenLucPiquant. Increasingly at Bluesky rather than here.
Tim_Schnor @tschnor
136 Followers 471 Following the Supreme Court is corrupt. I do all of my own stunts.
Adam of Earth @AdamOfEarth
4K Followers 793 Following @[email protected] A bit of science, a bit of sarcasm, a bit of something else.
Christopher Schelling @CRSRipley
4K Followers 827 Following Literary agent with a deceptively long name. Married to @augusten. I'm here to talk books, dogs and grammar like it's 2011
Dan Polish Last Name @danjan13
19K Followers 779 Following Jokes on the web. I RT a lot of funny things. Big hit with moms.
Trends for United States
29,5 B posts
80,7 B posts
9.812 posts
1.314 posts
2.956 posts
1.832 posts
22,8 B posts
17,9 B posts
29,9 B posts
76,3 B posts
2.711 posts
417 B posts
7.966 posts
13,7 B posts
22,4 B posts
36 B posts
116 B posts
358 B posts
You might like
Shannon
@sha_nnonnn
953 Followers
andrew
@AndrewChamings
30K Followers
Skoog
@Skoog
61K Followers
IE Center for the Gov...
@ieGovernance
1K Followers
Hispanic Shaun King
@okimstillhungry
20K Followers
Rob Cee
@TheRobCee
3K Followers
andrew
@AndrewsNotFunny
7K Followers
sweatpants cher🔸
@House_Feminist
29K Followers
Piece
@Piecezilla
6K Followers
KOLARS
@kolarsmusic
713 Followers
Julia Gulia 🏳️�...
@JRobb773
8K Followers
🇺🇸Frank Whíteh...
@WheelTod
13K Followers