Twisted Parents @Twisted_Parents

Surviving with Sarcasm. Visit our online store/blog, follow #twisted_parents, and find us on Instagram & Facebook too! 💋 twistedparents.com North Carolina, USA Joined August 2019

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Twisted Parents @Twisted_Parents

2 years ago

Buying Crafting Kits for Your Kids: A Haiku A word about craft kits For parents who don’t yet know Don’t effing do it. *Inspired by the purchase of paintable beehive wind chime/bird feeder combos for kids who didn’t care to get it past the wet paint stage.

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Twisted Parents @Twisted_Parents

2 years ago

Hey! Welcome to 40! Let me show you around: We’ve got lotions for dry skin, potions for wrinkles, serum for hair loss, hot wax for when-did-this-happen-hair, anti-inflammatories, pro-biotics…*inhales* and then on to the prescription section for your high BP, BMI, cholesterol…

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Twisted Parents @Twisted_Parents

4 years ago

Believing you are ✨ perfect ✨ is not a display of confidence. Confidence is the ability to admit you are ✨ imperfect ✨ and to make changes as YOU see fit.

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Twisted Parents @Twisted_Parents

4 years ago

Am I watching the Super Bowl tonight? Yes. Am I watching it solely because I’m 36yrs old and the Half Time Show is going to give me life? Also yes.

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Twisted Parents @Twisted_Parents

4 years ago

Get you a husband that volunteers to take all the kids to pick up your grocery order because you’re touched-out, over-stimulated & need 5mins of silence. They’re just the greatest kind.

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Not the Nanny @not_thenanny

4 years ago

Parenting Expert: Give your toddler choices so they feel like they have control Me: Would you like to get dressed or eat breakfast first? My Toddler: GIMME THE IPAD

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Twisted Parents @Twisted_Parents

4 years ago

Hubs w/COVID: isolated to the bedroom, rests without interruption, meals and meds are delivered. 5 day illness. Me w/COVID: all 3 kids get it too, we’re lining up meds like shots on a Friday night, no one is sleeping, everyone is covered in snot. 14 day illness. And counting.

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Mike @Parentpains

4 years ago

Parenting is waking up at sunrise every day regardless of the day because your kids wake up at sunrise every day regardless of the day.

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Michael🏳️‍🌈🇺🇸🌈⚛️🟨 @Mikethewander1

4 years ago

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Twisted Parents @Twisted_Parents

4 years ago

New Year, New Me - Day 4: Whilst admiring my physique and wondering to myself if I’d lost a pound or two yet, the 6yr old asked why my stomach is still big “like when the baby was in your belly”.