| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | @_maybe_not_ever
Reclusive . uncomfortable . godawful jokes . small & strange . quietly curious . perpetually pessimistic . comedy lover . full-time nobody . i have gray hairs . x.com/search?q=from%… . 616 . Joined October 2015-
Tweets63K
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Followers13K
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Following1K
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Likes127K
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
the brand name Oral B is so funny to me. wtf does the B stand for
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| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
I wish I had met you before life changed me
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
I should not have to say this but: If I hand you my phone to show you a picture YOU DO NOT SWIPE
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
i had too much to think last night
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
“you never reply to messages” i am just one person okay i am understaffed
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
isolation the most goated coping mechanism i love talking to no one and losing my mind alone
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
i have read the room and decided to be illiterate
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
this is the first of four tweets I intend to tweet
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
Oh, I'll go. But I'm bending the shit out of your mini blinds on my way out.
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
[montage of me thinking I’ll remember the tweet while I find my phone]
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
go open the window im sending a transmission
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
You could put any frightened animal in a china shop and have the same results.
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
Americans are so bad at math that they truly can't comprehend how much richer a rich person is compared to the average person
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
hey i saw you from across the bar and was just wondering why you hated me
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
woke the cat up so he can get a fly out of my house. time to earn your keep, tiny tiger.
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
That’s Anthony Bourdain.
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
i go garbanzo on her bean until that chick pees
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
“ur acting weird” bro im not acting
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