McDad @mcdadstuff

Former Twitter “funny” dad Joined December 2021

Tweets

19K
Followers

9K
Following

2K
Likes

61K

Kim Kelly @GrimKim

2 weeks ago

things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room and you only went in there sometimes

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Benjamin De Almeida @benoftheweek

2 weeks ago

ticketmaster will literally log you out an hour before your concert, delete your password, lock your account, shoot your dog, and then make you go to your mom’s email address that doesnt exist anymore to get your ticket

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Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369

3 months ago

I now understand why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour

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Katie D @KatieDeal99

3 months ago

Got a new sponge today and was really excited because it was so scrubby and god being an adult is depressing

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🕳⚰️💨 @hedlike_a_hole

3 months ago

The song of the summer is the "Nothing is everything" jingle from the Skyrizi Crohn’s disease pharmaceutical commercial

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The Redheaded libertarian @TRHLofficial

3 months ago

Remember when the schtick of streaming services was that you didn’t get commercials? What a bait and switch that was.

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McDad @mcdadstuff

3 months ago

I see a lot of people out walking or working out in a weighted vest. Is the weight of the world not enough for you?

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Bummer T. Vibes, Esq @VibesBummer

3 months ago

[guy naming weeds] this one looks like a lion, but dandier

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𝔤𝔢𝔪 𓆩♡𓆪 @gxmxxchxx

3 months ago

i lied there’s no sex but there is a spider situation i need you to take care of

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Insane Content @onlineinsane

4 months ago

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paige @BonerWizard

4 months ago

It was weird going to college before smartphones. One time while out at a bar none of us could remember the name of Fleetwood Mac’s drummer so I called my dad at 2am.

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Your OG 🐩 @LRNROSE

4 months ago

doing stuff after work and not just on the weekends is how you can feel life is worth living.

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Got CTE from playing Peek-A-Boo @doulbedoink

4 months ago

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore

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Kristen @Kica333

4 months ago

DMV: Did you bring your fourth grade report card?

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Ed Hansberry @ehansalytics

4 months ago

Name a bigger lie. I'll wait.

1K 11K 171K 6.5M 4K

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0.005 Seconds (3/694) @seconds_0

4 months ago

My wife just walked up to me and gave me an unexpected impassioned, full body kiss, then stared me straight in the eye - a deep soul to soul stare - and said, "I just hit a possum with the lawnmower."

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Маделейн . @normalmadeline

5 months ago

Officially sick of everything there is to eat for dinner. There are no more dinners left.

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McDad @mcdadstuff

5 months ago

One year you stopped having piñatas at your birthday parties which is crazy because as an adult it seems far more necessary to pummel something at least once a year