Mike Abrusci @mikeabrusci
God’s Perfect Man™️. Listen to @ALittleTimePod. Sign up for my newsletter below ⬇️⬇️⬇️ linktr.ee/mikeabrusci Brooklyn, NY Joined March 2011-
Tweets21K
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Followers8K
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Following721
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Likes49K
It would be so funny to hit him with this
It would be so funny to hit him with this https://t.co/bfqHyF3QGI
A struggle as old as time
Challengers (2024)
Every time I walk out of the grocery store with cat litter I think “look at me. Just like Danzig”
Alternative Mike at your service
Alternative Mike at your service https://t.co/RPBT3JuRu0
Mike Abrusci announces he has evidence that he could take Charli XCX on a date if they were in the same room together. See how easy it is to just say whatever you want?
Mike Abrusci announces he has evidence that he could take Charli XCX on a date if they were in the same room together. See how easy it is to just say whatever you want?
I have the same feeling about grabbing a cops gun and pissing directly into a Dyson airblade. One day I’m gonna do it and it’ll change everything about my life
Sam rules. This episode rules. And don’t forget, we rule.
Sam rules. This episode rules. And don’t forget, we rule.
Every time I see one of those it feels like it’s slang for something else. Some guy in a big ass suit should be walking around saying “yeah he was eating a lot of jazz apples….if you know what I mean”
Sure that guy is the girthmaster but is he the lovemaster? The empathymaster? The listeningmaster? The rememberingyourbirthday master?
An Italian kid hitting the game winning shot in a Knicks playoff game means the NYPD gets a full paid day off tomorrow to celebrate
A gigantic problem is we’ve let nerds and bores be in control of culture and media. People who think Vampire Weekend is “indie”. People who think it’s subversive that they wore American Apparel to a 70s party in college. People who care about numbers. Where’s the coked up freaks?
It seems like every tweet on my for you page is just some middle aged dude saying something like “you gotta admit, mommy went crazy when she made apple slices and peanut butter as an after school snack”
Here’s a joke about true love
The best thing in the world is having fun with your boys
April 2023 vs April 2024
Whenever you have an injury, there should be a little red exclamation point floating over it like a video game so everyone knows to give you sympathy
Shout out to Fall Guy only in theaters May 2nd
Shout out to Fall Guy only in theaters May 2nd
Diego Lopez @thisdiegolopez
18K Followers 598 Following comedian • mma coach/bjj black belt • @alittletimepod • @nihilift • know violence • Ⓥ
Mac Arthur 🇰🇿 @DoctorMacArthur
2K Followers 858 Following Published journalist, competitive eater, tenured professor. 🤠@CowboyBoys Podcast
CORINNE FISHER @PhilanthropyGal
64K Followers 4K Following comedian. author. director. pundit. 🖤 LISTEN 2 MY PODCASTS @guyswefcked & #withoutacountry
Julia Claire @ohJuliatweets
49K Followers 1K Following writer of screeds/jokes @crookedmedia, stand-up comic, Comedy's Fancy Large-Boy-Sized Lady, Housing Justice for All, etc.
Mike Recine @mikerecine
36K Followers 3K Following My special is on YouTube right now and you can watch it here: https://t.co/whJKJbPPJN
Dan Licata @danlicatasucks
23K Followers 1K Following stand-up comedian, writer (SNL, Joe Pera Talks With You). i am still in high school Chicago 5/12, Milwaukee 5/14, Minneapolis 5/16, Philly 5/19
Blair Socci @blairsocci
47K Followers 943 Following My debut special out now on @veeps - https://t.co/jY8dpFvql7
Eric @EricWilzon
1K Followers 377 Following 4 years sober. TV/Film producer. Don’t overthink it. Opinions vary.
Tommy McNamara @TommyMcNam
7K Followers 2K Following watch my special SMOLDERING here for free: https://t.co/zWfmFpuqlc
Casey James Salengo @caseyJsalengo
7K Followers 1K Following I’m a stand up comedian and I’m emotional!
George Civeris @georgeciveris
26K Followers 1K Following Comedian, co-host @straightiolab, former editor @gawker. Let's do this!
Stable Tim @TimothyPlatt
7K Followers 2K Following comedian/musician/actor. Podcasts with Rude Tales of Magic, Oh These Those Stars of Space, and Hampton High.
nick naney @nicknaney
4K Followers 1K Following fatass/dumbass watch my stand up special NESSUN DORMA here: https://t.co/PGjw1ayxcS
aubrey @aubreybell
7K Followers 955 Following
Joyce Allen @1joyce_Allen
85 Followers 481 Following An attitude of gratitude creates blessings 🙏 God first | I Love my family 👪 ❤ | God bless America 🇺🇸 🙏 | John 3:16 🤲
Hazel @KsTH47F0Sy0of
50 Followers 1K Following I am a lively and cheerful girl who would like to meet a good friend.
kathy @kls1960
10 Followers 164 Following
EmoKidd @Emily4761172141
16 Followers 308 Following
🍉💎💎💎🍉 @outerspacepace
146 Followers 1K Following alt for outerspacetaste ❤️💖❤️ #antiracist #decolonize #freepalestine #freecongo #freesudan #transrights #disabilityjustice
kiki @Lethavekiki
55 Followers 730 Following
Shady Rick @Shajrick
0 Followers 1K Following
Jesse Deal @jessedeal
400 Followers 2K Following
alt main @bonfaguette
0 Followers 2K Following
Maggie McSweeney @mam122995
339 Followers 2K Following It is my responsibility to be of service. 💙💙 💙
💚 @lyssa94555998
0 Followers 214 Following
Jesse Monet @C0LDVVORLD
28 Followers 116 Following
Snow Buffalo @Ramblin_Ronnie
0 Followers 7 Following Bio-Dome was a movie with Pauly Shore and Stephen Baldwin
Kayla @kaylaispale
62 Followers 170 Following SLPA 🎓 Oregon Grown 🌲 Living in Arizona 🌞 Tattoos & Sarcasm 💉 Halloween Enthusiast 🎃
awesomebum @awesomebum1
1K Followers 5K Following NFSW 18+ gay/bi twitter. single seeking horny friends, lovers + fun. desire a multi-member relationship. prep'd #teambottom #teamvers #group #orgy #polyamorous
intellectual dweeb we.. @inteldankweb
2K Followers 2K Following
✨cutie frankie✨ @cutie_frankie_
5K Followers 963 Following weird slut. noided. appalachian. closeted actor. film school dropout. @manyvids mommy. dementia daddy. filthiest person alive. 18+
A Real Dummy @Mozlovesme79
119 Followers 815 Following Puerto Rican Cutie Pie. Queer Seattle Improv babydoll. Miserable ex-Catholic. Fan of being stoned during a Pandemic. Accidental Bear.
kevymckeversons @kevymckeversons
115 Followers 2K Following
⊃∪∩⪽ enjoyer @javelinaking
165 Followers 748 Following Vermillion Flycatchers are the most beautiful creatures on the planet
cassidy @cassassassidy
283 Followers 292 Following
Anna May @annamay729
12 Followers 260 Following
Megan Detrie @megandetrie
905 Followers 922 Following editor I @SomethinElse @marketplace, @BuzzFeedNews, @atavistmag, She/her.
Lauren Spohrer @laurenspohrer
6K Followers 2K Following @criminalshow @thisisloveshow @2seriousladies
Mark P @ICSweathog
30 Followers 308 Following Ranked #1 Good Eater 32 years running in the Mom Gazette Wussy-music lover Righteous dude
VitaminD @PinkDuds
47 Followers 89 Following
Serenity void @serenitybois
2 Followers 18 Following
Dan @brokendurrie
36 Followers 69 Following
Marie-eve Pelletier @MarieevePe29174
223 Followers 6K Following
world health organiza.. @emmanuel_muokwe
441 Followers 4K Following
mariaquintero @mariaquint58867
163 Followers 5K Following
StinkyMinkyMMA🇵�.. @StinkyMinky420
932 Followers 4K Following Just a vet that likes to watch sanctioned violence BLM, ACAB he/him
Ball Atreides @piss_jugg
377 Followers 896 Following 1999 Eisenhower Elementary 2nd Grade Spelling Bee Runner-Up 🏆
Diego Lopez @thisdiegolopez
18K Followers 598 Following comedian • mma coach/bjj black belt • @alittletimepod • @nihilift • know violence • Ⓥ
Mac Arthur 🇰🇿 @DoctorMacArthur
2K Followers 858 Following Published journalist, competitive eater, tenured professor. 🤠@CowboyBoys Podcast
Kath Barbadoro @kathbarbadoro
37K Followers 0 Following stand up comedy/podcasting/writing/posting on this website @whatatimepod @LCSpodcast @masterpancake. Next Paid Protest show February 2!
CORINNE FISHER @PhilanthropyGal
64K Followers 4K Following comedian. author. director. pundit. 🖤 LISTEN 2 MY PODCASTS @guyswefcked & #withoutacountry
Julia Claire @ohJuliatweets
49K Followers 1K Following writer of screeds/jokes @crookedmedia, stand-up comic, Comedy's Fancy Large-Boy-Sized Lady, Housing Justice for All, etc.
Mike Recine @mikerecine
36K Followers 3K Following My special is on YouTube right now and you can watch it here: https://t.co/whJKJbPPJN
Dan Licata @danlicatasucks
23K Followers 1K Following stand-up comedian, writer (SNL, Joe Pera Talks With You). i am still in high school Chicago 5/12, Milwaukee 5/14, Minneapolis 5/16, Philly 5/19
Blair Socci @blairsocci
47K Followers 943 Following My debut special out now on @veeps - https://t.co/jY8dpFvql7
Eric @EricWilzon
1K Followers 377 Following 4 years sober. TV/Film producer. Don’t overthink it. Opinions vary.
Tommy McNamara @TommyMcNam
7K Followers 2K Following watch my special SMOLDERING here for free: https://t.co/zWfmFpuqlc
Casey James Salengo @caseyJsalengo
7K Followers 1K Following I’m a stand up comedian and I’m emotional!
George Civeris @georgeciveris
26K Followers 1K Following Comedian, co-host @straightiolab, former editor @gawker. Let's do this!
Stable Tim @TimothyPlatt
7K Followers 2K Following comedian/musician/actor. Podcasts with Rude Tales of Magic, Oh These Those Stars of Space, and Hampton High.
mick @mick__0311
108 Followers 96 Following
Jonah Weiner @jonahweiner
15K Followers 872 Following New York Times Magazine contributing writer. Also Rolling Stone, The New Yorker, New York, WSJ, and WIRED
Griffin Newman @GriffLightning
44K Followers 1K Following • “Griffin” on @BlankCheckPod • “Watto” on @GLucasTalkShow • “Orko” on @MastersOfficial • “Arthur” on @TheTickTV • “Pip” in @Enchanted
Blackbird Spyplane @BLKBRD_Spyplane
12K Followers 317 Following # 1 newsletter 4 style, culture + Unbeatable Recon. Q&As w Jerry Seinfeld, André 3000, Lorde, Tyler, The Creator, Nathan Fielder, Online Ceramics, Emily Bode+++
Magdalene J. Taylor @magdajtaylor
22K Followers 2K Following writer, sexual culture critic [email protected]
Jefferson White @_JeffersonWhite
22K Followers 1K Following Jeff from Iowa. Jimmy Hurdstrom in YELLOWSTONE. THE TWILIGHT ZONE, EVIL, HELLBOY: THE CROOKED MAN, CIVIL WAR, GOD'S COUNTRY, EILEEN.
Kattoo King @SimplyKattoo
356 Followers 226 Following Comedienne, fashion designer, podcastress (One Pod, Spring Break 1985)
skatelyn @garlicknotty
1K Followers 627 Following she/her - part-time artist and full time silly goose. World’s leading Jonathan Lipnicki impersonator.
wicked wren @thewickedwren
56K Followers 237 Following artist • a host • Black Lives Matter • @thecorncorner
vm ❊ @tentwentysixpm
4K Followers 2K Following two time state yelling champion who has dreams of one day finding a box of money. all opinions/trash are my own & bad. venmo; tentwentysixpm
Dumbidiotmoron @paul_dov
474 Followers 213 Following
Chris Fronzak @FRONZ1LLA
172K Followers 637 Following Singer of @ATTILAga | CEO of @STAYS1CK | Founder of @StaySickRecords | Social media kingpin | Most hated, Most awesomest
Mac Miller @macxmiller
2K Followers 508 Following
eBay jackets & hats @3five9
44K Followers 1K Following Shrimp Julep / Salad Bar Ham Cubes / not my store / ask if you need to ask
Sara Weinshenk @princessshenk
21K Followers 1K Following confessions of a los angeles valley-bred comic/writer/actress host of #thisbitchpodcast #shenksforsmoking on @comedycentral & the #shenk podcast #stonedscience
Anya Volz @AnyaVolz
13K Followers 1K Following ☆•VALID•☆ 👂@bestmistakespod with @nikalomazzo 🧠 standup & queer night life 👀 top 1% 🧚 they/them https://t.co/hmEcvyKaf8
Colin Young @ColinYovng
21K Followers 799 Following addicted to the shindig - @hardlorepod @godshate818 @twtchngtongues @deadfuckingbody
anica @AnicaSeelie
15K Followers 751 Following brand director at @heroforgeminis • find me on 📸 @anicaseelie • opinions are my own • they/she
ᴊᴜʟɪᴀ ᴍᴏ�.. @momgrab
2K Followers 899 Following ᴛʜᴇᴀᴛᴇʀ 🦷 ⇢ ⇢ ▫️ 50/50 ᴏʟᴅ ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ᴀɴɪᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ▫️ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏɪɴɢ ▫️ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄ/ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄ ▫️ ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴍɪᴄ ɴɪɢʜᴛ
𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 .. @carlyhoogs
1K Followers 1K Following comedy talent manager. i’m on here to like things, mostly.
hope @hopiecan
8K Followers 1K Following behind everyman is an author who wanted a relatable character
MILKY WAY GHETTO 🌌 @JayJurden
30K Followers 2K Following he/him. comic / actor / writer / X-Men nerd/writer! - bisexual demon / booking - https://t.co/ikhegHrDPH
awlivv (🖤🧡 era) @awlivv
522K Followers 587 Following strange weird girl. 18+. this is my only twitter. the LINK you seek is below🫡
amber rollo @ambercrollo
31K Followers 3K Following
Andy Kindler @AndyKindler
135K Followers 7K Following A Comedium. Mort on #BobsBurgers Podcast: @thought_spiral with @JElvisWeinstein https://t.co/DLxHtjMc5n #FOT he/him
kristofer thomas @kristoferthomas
91K Followers 591 Following comic, tv/screenwriter, idiot. mgmt: brillstein #WritersGuildOnStrike #WGAStrong
Sophie Saint Thomas @TheBowieCat
18K Followers 4K Following ✒️ @Allure_magazine @GQMagazine etc 5x 📚 Finding Your Higher Self, Sex Witch, Glamour Witch, Weed Witch next book on reproductive rights agent @ericsmithrocks
@mikeabrusci “he fell for the aipac money”
For some reason seeing Challengers at Regal Essex feels especially deviant. I need to see it at BAM where my legs are compressed by the next row in a way that forces me to sit perfectly upright for 132 minutes.
eating a salad at a desk is the most repulsive i have ever been <3
Bradley Beal speaks on his mindset going into Game 4 🗣️
@mikeabrusci i know his ass would fall for the soup
I’ve read Elliot Rodger’s manifesto and it sounded exactly like this
i got on threads for two seconds and wow there really is a place more annoying than twitter
Hey @Delta the pilot on my plane refuses to hand me the aux even though my playlist is 🔥
May the 4th, it’s gonna be May, cinco de mayo, big week coming up for annoying normies.
For example this tweet could be shortened to: “Brevity matters.”
learning how to say something in 30 seconds that takes most people 5 minutes is a big unlock
If you guys find this funny then you’re going to loooove comedy shows with jokes
Why was I not invited to NYC to witness this amazing feat?
Saw Challengers today and may I just say congratulations in advance to both beautiful women and extremely close male friends on what is sure to be a summer to remember
another saturday night, another viewing of “wolf of wall street.”
If anyone tries to point out to me that juror #7 was voting guilty I will lose my mind at you. Yes I know, his main concern is getting out early.
airdropping this to everyone else in jury duty
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