Snarky Mom @asnarkaday

Mother: can you please fix my computer Me: *leans back in chair* well... well ... well ... if it isn’t Miss ‘Get Off That Computer’ Years 1994 to 2006

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Snarky Mom @asnarkaday

7 years ago

I almost forgot about this giant hole in my heart until the band-aid started to peel off. #Depression

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Rack Paper Scissors @RackOfSteel

7 years ago

The year is 2032. Men now have lightsabers for penises. Our vaginas are now smartphones that make sandwiches. Donald Trump is the president....of hair club for men. All of the babies regardless of gender are now named Gord. Satan now goes by the name Karen.

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Snarky Mom @asnarkaday

7 years ago

No one ever tells you how lonely it is being a grown up.

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Snarky Mom @asnarkaday

7 years ago

Ariel is just a bitchy fish.

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🇨🇦𖤐 Father Red McGee 𖤐 🇨🇦 @FatherRedMcgee

7 years ago

When I rage drink my first cup of coffee at the office, I stare intensely at each coworker for 1 minute each so they all know that I hate them equally.

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Snarky Mom @asnarkaday

7 years ago

An ice cream truck, only with chicken wings.

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Lauren Mullen @DraggingFeeties

7 years ago

Parenting hack: There are no hacks. Everything is hard. These kids never listen. Your life is hell now. Godspeed.

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Snarky Mom @asnarkaday

7 years ago

Just one morning I would like to wake up without Gene Simmons hair.

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Cydni Beer @cydbeer

7 years ago

It’s always around dinner time that I wish we had a second wife.

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Mommy, a real person @MommyIsAPerson

7 years ago

Today, shopping, I found a moderately ugly dress. I was trying to figure out how I felt about it and was running my hands down my sides. Lumps. Lumps? They were pockets. Real pockets, deep pockets. It's currently in the washer.

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Snarky Mom @asnarkaday

7 years ago

So in order to get a medical marijuana card I just have to do an online app, get approved, go see a doc and fork over $150? Jesus fucking christ it's harder for me to refill my fucking contacts.