Jimmy Rabbitte @RabbitteJimmy
I have four lucky feet Joined April 2015-
Tweets213
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Followers97
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Following506
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Likes2K
To those whom I died owing money - suck it! #TheFirstLineOfMyAutobiography
Jimmy Rabbitte retweeted
[Antarctic Courtroom] Polar Bear: “You hated your wife didn't you, Pingu!” Walrus Judge: “Careful Mr Prosecutor. You’re on very thin ice” Polar Bear: “Your honor, permission to approach the bench” Walrus: “No. I...” *Polar Bear takes step forward, plunges through melting ice
Jimmy Rabbitte retweeted
sorting hat: the hogwarts house u belong in is... me: oh boy sorting hat: my house me: what sorting hat: u are coming to my house to be my butler me: but i came here to be a wizard dumbledore: silence butler boy. u will do as the weird talking hat says
Jimmy Rabbitte retweeted
"THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!" 2012: omg please no 2016: are we doing this or not
Jimmy Rabbitte retweeted
'Dude, I am SO wasted right now!' - my potential
Jimmy Rabbitte retweeted
Dropped my baby on a milk crate & it was fine. It's actually really hard to damage a milk crate.
Jimmy Rabbitte retweeted
[Neil Armstrong on the phone to his wife] "Listen babe, I need some space." "What?" "Nah, just kidding. I am going to the moon though."
Jimmy Rabbitte retweeted
*checks bank balance* "Only 437 days until Christmas, kids"
Jimmy Rabbitte retweeted
[inventing dogs] God: ur mans best friend Dog: pretty sexist God: no, man as in every-fuck it u can't talk Dog: ... God: & chocolate kills u
Jimmy Rabbitte retweeted
Amazing to think that all German children start life as Kinder eggs.
I know it's been 70 years but I'm still pretty pissed off with Hitler
Jimmy Rabbitte retweeted
ME: i don't want to go in the pool FRIEND: c'mon, i brought an extra pair of trunks ME: excellent planning but i feel like ur not listening
Jimmy Rabbitte retweeted
There's no "We" in Pringles
Jimmy Rabbitte retweeted
A lot of scuttlebutt around the office about how I use silly, outdated phrases for gossip.
Jimmy Rabbitte retweeted
[two seatbelts discussing a date] Her: "Soooo, how was it?" Her 2: "Yeah, we really clicked"
Jimmy Rabbitte retweeted
[first day being Chinese] I hear we have a pretty good wall?
'A' only comes first in the alphabet because we believe it does. Think about it
PALMATEERS MASK 🍁�... @PalmateersM
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