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Tweets25K
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Followers1K
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Following390
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Likes40K
Johnny 2 Balls retweeted
My advice is to choose a charming hobby that no one can hold against you.
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Johnny 2 Balls retweeted
the local market in my village has seagull flavored gum.
Johnny 2 Balls retweeted
Looking at office chairs online like, why do so many of these brag they'll hold 500lbs right off the bat? It's for one person right? Maybe I forgot how chairs work.
Johnny 2 Balls retweeted
She’s fries in the bag, but as a person
Johnny 2 Balls retweeted
He had eyes the color of dill pickle water and the education to know that's brine.
Johnny 2 Balls retweeted
I'll judge you by how you pronounce "foyer"
Flag football in the 2028 Olympic Games? A hot dog eating contest can not be far behind.
Johnny 2 Balls retweeted
What happens is you start to think of your body as so much non-arable land.
93% of all road rage incidents have been quashed by an offering of a handful of Chicken in a Biscuit - Original Baked Snack Crackers and a few slices of smoked gouda.
An engagement account contributing nothing. That's who you am.
Go ahead. Ridicule our backward little town. We're thankful it has nothing for you.
Johnny 2 Balls retweeted
Laser tag makes me realize how quickly I will die in the laser wars
Johnny 2 Balls retweeted
Nothing matters. Going to start calling things "rad" again.
Another bright, sunny morning. Another bulbous, scalded tongue.
Johnny 2 Balls retweeted
The newspaper man asked what I do for a living and I said “fool the public” and he just wrote it down.
Johnny 2 Balls retweeted
There are too many words in books. Vote for me & I’ll limit books to <281 characters
Johnny 2 Balls retweeted
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Put them in 12 separate containers, all carefully painted to represent each egg's astrological sign.
Johnny 2 Balls retweeted
I'm getting a new walking stick. I will name it Atonement.
How is judging bull riding in the rodeo fair if everybody rides a different bull?
Remember when people would get angry if you engaged with their tweets?
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
42K Followers 9K Following Independently owned and operated A+ Rating fron the BBB Chicago Area I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is
Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
74K Followers 2K Following Fourth Quarter Performer. Sidekick to @gingerhotdish MEJOR QUE NADA
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
47K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/1tLBuSYH1g
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
101K Followers 18K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Bob Golen @BobGolen
42K Followers 26K Following Hey, give me a try. Mainly old jokes (spruced up a bit) and sentimental musings. Big believer in kindness. Leaning left, but not very woke (Boomer, ya know).
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
13K Followers 1K Following The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, Harper's, Rolling Stone. I've read some of these magazines.
Ivsy @Ivsy01
38K Followers 9K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2k
Cat From Nowhere @kv8
17K Followers 9K Following omnipresent in absentia, perchance frittering my time away on X. .•| sui juris |•.
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (... @FScottFitzJesse
8K Followers 6K Following I'm just here to make fun of myself.
Benny 'Mostly Polish'... @citizenkawala
22K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
Barry BeNiceButNotSic... @barryjohnharper
10K Followers 7K Following English accent - please adjust your inner dialogue. Atheist, but fine by me if you believe in fairytales. Peace ✌
fightgeek @fightgeek
10K Followers 8K Following i wander around outside and hangout with dogs mostly 🇺🇸
Sunshine Jarboly @SunshineJarboly
5K Followers 1K Following eagle trainer. puppy petter. drinker of milk. taker of naps. my books available at https://t.co/tNhRJoHok6
Philosopher King, Ora... @signalborder
5K Followers 5K Following R https://t.co/xrjEEfBLwe Remember to reinstall your phase converter to 31° left of center.
Kaley Cuoco @Kale1ycuoco
207 Followers 3K Following
nenafabulous @nenafabulous
356 Followers 1K Following
Ronald Stair @RonaldStair
2K Followers 3K Following President of @creativeplanltd , National Speaker, Actuarial, Retirement Planning, Employee Benefits https://t.co/RdG4Ov1Gdb
Doris Borderieus @Sadielunie
198 Followers 1K Following product/service FX trader and educator mentorship and guidance NFT projects
Riley green duckmanpr... @duckmanprvt
62 Followers 852 Following
Jim Blair @MrMarketingPhD
17K Followers 13K Following Assistant Dean, Chair of the Faculty, & Associate Professor of Marketing @EKU_CoB | Research Areas: Pricing, Branding, Sports Marketing, & Education
I cry just a little w... @tua_preemie
3K Followers 6K Following 🥹 𝚰'ᥣᥣ ᑲ𝖾 𝗃υ𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗂𐓣𝖾 ρ𝗋𝖾𝗍𝖾𐓣ᑯ𝗂𐓣𝗀 𝚰'ｍ 𝓃๏t |you take me you want me fku | she/her Aaron Carter/HHogan Mia and Arturo #marturo #haudra #jaleo
Damon Hunzeker @DamonHunzeker
6K Followers 1K Following Writer/editor/speaker/indelicate musician/purveyor of razzle, dazzle, sound, and fury. Ring bell for service.
Tana Haik @tana_haik
823 Followers 7K Following
NukeTaco ™️🇺�... @TacoforFive1
84K Followers 21K Following 🚫DMs! #MAGA FB: @RealJamesWoods @DineshDSouza @atensnut @ScottBaio @MrsScottBaio @Catturd2 @SebGorka
Dr. Angie Huffines (f... @DrAngieLee
3K Followers 3K Following @grantsolomon30🕊️& @graciesolomon30’s🩷 mom.Set your mind on things aboveCol.3:2 #llgs #justiceforgrant #freedom4Gracie #survivor I miss u Grant
Ousman @Ousman197463591
76 Followers 5K Following
Abdoulie 🙏🙏 @EbrimaBah189472
239 Followers 6K Following Child of God Believe The Gospel of The Kingdom Of God believe it we can get be strong enough here but the life is difficult that's why we can struggle here🙏🙏
terry schappert @terryschappert
90K Followers 4K Following U.S. Army Special Forces (retired), Defender of The Faith, Canine companion
Rita corner @Ritacorner42498
477 Followers 5K Following
SpacedMom @copymama
23K Followers 3K Following Writer of freelance copy. Cultivator of small humans. Documenter of absurdity. / Header by the talented @mommy_cusses
MikeGuyVer 🇺🇦 @Mikael422
1K Followers 5K Following Influencer, of my waistline. My AVI is real... awesome. Identical twin. COVID-19 gave me 5 SuperPowers! How about you? Curses: Bi-polar/NAFLD/OCD/Parkinsonism
Nuclear Rev Esq. @floor_killer
2K Followers 774 Following Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. Based Chef. ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ. Patriot. 1776. Momento Mori. Christ alone. ✝️🇺🇸
dangerfloof @BrightsidesWife
4K Followers 4K Following life is love, joy, chaos, peace, humour and pain. artist. advocate for mental health, cptsd and autism 💙
Kimberly K Siegfried @KimberlyKSiegf2
216 Followers 1K Following former Kentuckian with some regrets about my Rand Paul tatts
Kanye’s bhole @bossy_bootz
40K Followers 9K Following Syrian Import ✝️ Mother of 2. Stay-at-home therapist. Recent: https://t.co/tvlKhCxxNi%
DougE Alt Account @DougieFresh
67 Followers 196 Following The alt account of @DougE to escape Twitmo
Bone Chocolates @BoneChocolates
5K Followers 2K Following Making my little jokes to distract myself from the terror of the walls closing in.
jo ellery @joellery73hotm1
4K Followers 4K Following
Uncle Bob 🍩 @UncleBob56
15K Followers 13K Following Grandpa, outdoorsman, dad joker, beer drinker extraordinaire. My top tweet is coming out tomorrow. #EnvyDaStrength #LuvPug #BlessTheBlueEyedBoy
MisoSilly @SeiYoung83
15K Followers 11K Following just read the fucking tweets https://t.co/OnMlrENZi4
Koroma Nabson @NabsonKoroma
226 Followers 651 Following
Misty Henderson @MistyHogFan1
1K Followers 4K Following I'm just me! Funny, sassy, silly, Hog fan for life, momma, a little country, lots of love for everyone, love to make new friends in all walks of life! 🥰🖤❤️🔥
B @AskBellaWagner
5K Followers 3K Following Publicist, writer, producer. . I enjoy carrots. I don't like beets. If you like beets DO NOT even think of following me. Belong to team #carrotsnotbeets
jdcocc @jdcocc
386 Followers 697 Following
Q-Benjamin @itsqbenjamin
2K Followers 1K Following Believer ✝ | Multi-faceted Wordsmith | Rec. Artist & Juno Award Winner | 👩🏽🎓 | Conversationalist
Narcisse @APBNarcisse
1K Followers 6K Following
Shaver @chrisshaver68
849 Followers 1K Following 🍺 enthusiast - avid recluse - married to an amazing lady - 2 great kids-2 grandkids & owner of a cool dog. IG: thedailyshave
name cannot be blank @toomanycommas3
28K Followers 7K Following just here to migrate old tweets to the good place fuck you if you voted for elon ✌️
The Anxious Cat 𓃠 @iPhonePhobic
2K Followers 5K Following A broken brain, a box full of badge pins, and a PS4 .. Let me have a smoke and come back to you on this.
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
42K Followers 9K Following Independently owned and operated A+ Rating fron the BBB Chicago Area I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is
Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
74K Followers 2K Following Fourth Quarter Performer. Sidekick to @gingerhotdish MEJOR QUE NADA
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
47K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/1tLBuSYH1g
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
101K Followers 18K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
13K Followers 1K Following The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, Harper's, Rolling Stone. I've read some of these magazines.
Ivsy @Ivsy01
38K Followers 9K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2k
Cat From Nowhere @kv8
17K Followers 9K Following omnipresent in absentia, perchance frittering my time away on X. .•| sui juris |•.
Benny 'Mostly Polish'... @citizenkawala
22K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
Barry BeNiceButNotSic... @barryjohnharper
10K Followers 7K Following English accent - please adjust your inner dialogue. Atheist, but fine by me if you believe in fairytales. Peace ✌
fightgeek @fightgeek
10K Followers 8K Following i wander around outside and hangout with dogs mostly 🇺🇸
Sunshine Jarboly @SunshineJarboly
5K Followers 1K Following eagle trainer. puppy petter. drinker of milk. taker of naps. my books available at https://t.co/tNhRJoHok6
Philosopher King, Ora... @signalborder
5K Followers 5K Following R https://t.co/xrjEEfBLwe Remember to reinstall your phase converter to 31° left of center.
Chad Read @squirrel74wkgn
17K Followers 3K Following _______Sit UBU, sit......good dog____________ NEW Tweets ➡️ https://t.co/VpGo73atvG Favstar / Top 200 ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Stap the Mattness @Stap_Jr
4K Followers 1K Following GOOD. GREAT. GRAND. WONDERFUL. EVERYBODY ON THE BUS https://t.co/glzMoTuoeZ
Marly @VerbsRProudest
10K Followers 5K Following Mom, Wife, Scribbler - Tweets https://t.co/fmOqFyUryK OR exc replies https://t.co/oKTHFtbaqK header by talented friend @bucmarvin
Matty @bestestname
15K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
Damon Hunzeker @DamonHunzeker
6K Followers 1K Following Writer/editor/speaker/indelicate musician/purveyor of razzle, dazzle, sound, and fury. Ring bell for service.
Kimberly K Siegfried @KimberlyKSiegf2
216 Followers 1K Following former Kentuckian with some regrets about my Rand Paul tatts
Robby Starbuck @robbystarbuck
836K Followers 11K Following Filmmaker/Host • Cuban American • Used to Direct Stars, Now I Fight For 🇺🇸 • ❤️ @LandonStarbuck • Dad • Visiting Fellow @Heritage • Film: https://t.co/wi7k3h7sTJ
NukeTaco ™️🇺�... @TacoforFive1
84K Followers 21K Following 🚫DMs! #MAGA FB: @RealJamesWoods @DineshDSouza @atensnut @ScottBaio @MrsScottBaio @Catturd2 @SebGorka
Dr. Angie Huffines (f... @DrAngieLee
3K Followers 3K Following @grantsolomon30🕊️& @graciesolomon30’s🩷 mom.Set your mind on things aboveCol.3:2 #llgs #justiceforgrant #freedom4Gracie #survivor I miss u Grant
SpacedMom @copymama
23K Followers 3K Following Writer of freelance copy. Cultivator of small humans. Documenter of absurdity. / Header by the talented @mommy_cusses
dangerfloof @BrightsidesWife
4K Followers 4K Following life is love, joy, chaos, peace, humour and pain. artist. advocate for mental health, cptsd and autism 💙
Bob Phillips @BobTheSuit
14K Followers 10K Following Catch me on @SIRIUSXM, @OpenBarComedy, @SalAndBobShow! New album out on @ontourrecords
Kanye’s bhole @bossy_bootz
40K Followers 9K Following Syrian Import ✝️ Mother of 2. Stay-at-home therapist. Recent: https://t.co/tvlKhCxxNi%
Nuclear Rev Esq. @floor_killer
2K Followers 774 Following Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. Based Chef. ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ. Patriot. 1776. Momento Mori. Christ alone. ✝️🇺🇸
B @AskBellaWagner
5K Followers 3K Following Publicist, writer, producer. . I enjoy carrots. I don't like beets. If you like beets DO NOT even think of following me. Belong to team #carrotsnotbeets
Q-Benjamin @itsqbenjamin
2K Followers 1K Following Believer ✝ | Multi-faceted Wordsmith | Rec. Artist & Juno Award Winner | 👩🏽🎓 | Conversationalist
Fulkery @Fulkery1
11K Followers 9K Following
Naomi with the blue c... @MomesTheWord
5K Followers 4K Following I'm a mom and a bookworm who's way more charming in print than in person.
Kira Kay @kissmefreedom
3K Followers 3K Following empty vessel once filled with joy and optimism https://t.co/PIepkujJyP
Rachel @RachelNoise
6K Followers 2K Following I woke up in a new Bugatti except it wasn’t new and it was a deck chair
💦Slippery Secret�... @SlipperySecret
16K Followers 7K Following masturbating, probably....... I licked @cat_fvr so he's mine now.
Your Estranged Uncle @EstrangedUnc
1K Followers 4K Following Please keep your good vibes inside the vehicle at all times 🤙✌️
YONEWT 🆒 @yonewt
774 Followers 547 Following 🇺🇸 just a guy with a twitter account and a dream good like last time no 🇨🇦except @RonDuguay10 & @CoachsCornerDC
The B. @anerdonfire2
40K Followers 13K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Foster Twelvetrees' W... @PaulRam60679993
420 Followers 1K Following Loving my neighbour. 'I was a stranger and you invited me in...' No DMs unless you are a fellow member of the control group.
I Wish You Were Diffe... @amy59119080
128 Followers 132 Following Throwin’ elbows, scuffin’ shelltoes.
ColonelFalafel @ColonelFalafel
143 Followers 525 Following I laugh often. I mute what goes viral. I eat steak on Earth Day. We are here.
♛EmMama♛ @EmmaUtters
21K Followers 6K Following Born & raised in East London. Up to my rolling eyeballs in other peoples toddlers
Herschel Pennymacker @pennymacker
2K Followers 1K Following I know why the caged bird drinks. https://t.co/RxYsGZ8pAg
Algonquin K Farquhar,... @buddhatree
4K Followers 4K Following Hull C Pilot - #StarCitizen referral code: STAR-XJ4P-LCCY https://t.co/2g8D0mYC67
Lounge Fly @mrjohntofu
16K Followers 12K Following Patriot, Systems Analyst, Average Superman, Playlist Savant, Hacker of the Matrix.
Steve, dad of The Bes... @ScottsdaleVeins
3K Followers 4K Following Soon after I was born, so long ago I barely remember it; the Ps started calling me 'Steve'. Now everyone does.
Phil @philthy0phil
700 Followers 2K Following
la costurera diabóli... @hdighn
2K Followers 959 Following Keep off the moors. Stick to the roads. Rom 11:25-32
❥✿Sheila✿❥ @AlleyGIRLTENN
4K Followers 4K Following Proud Mama of 2 ✿♡Girl Mom♡✿ ❥♡Sassy Af♡❥ ✷Green eyed Typical Scorpio✷ I'll be the one in tha applebottom jeans™ ✧If it's🟣 I💜it✧ ❤️📸🏞
ES @ESXIII
1K Followers 1K FollowingTrends for United States
84,4 B posts
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